Becoming a Grandma ?

Becoming a Grandma ? Some thoughts...

GRANDMOTHER. THE EVOLUTION OF THE FEMININE IDENTITY

There is a study from Caroline Dal Ri Kipper and her research team, from 2006 (published in the Revista Psicologia: Teoria e Pesquisa – Jan-Apr 2006, vol. 22, n. 1, pp. 029 a 034, by UFRGS – RS – BR), that is remarkably interesting. It is entitled “Becoming a Grandmother in the Individuation Process”. The authors articulate on the feminine identity of the grandmother. This is a concept that leads us to reflect a little. It shows the woman that watches as her own evolution takes place and feels that evolution is a noticeable and almost tangible reality. It speaks of the feminine identity of the grandmother: - A woman that sees herself changing with the arrival of her grandchildren.

It is known that some women become grandmothers before knowing that they play a role as changers and caretakers in society, for they still are very young. I am a part of the other group, - the one for the grandmas at the right age! I am one of those grandmothers that worked hard to cultivate and prepare her own children, whom, in turn, grew up to become adolescents and then adults. I taught them how to read while babies, inspired on the procedures of baby teaching created by Glenn Doman. I witnessed a psychological-biological evolution with no mishaps. A psychological evolution that could be defined as distinct successful case studies, with achievable learning; a spiritual evolution that led, each one of them, to quests towards different paths. All three of them searching for their own identity in this world.

But “what” is a grandchild? It is an emotional surprise amidst this whole evolution process! A statement that reassures us that the fruits can be collected after the seeds have been planted in fertile soil, for the biological-psychological and spiritual potential required for a new life to prosper is already present! And it makes us feel that since this new life emerges so vigorous, our own lives become similarly enlightened. We feel an empowering of our feminine identity. A gift…, a miracle that shows that life hasn’t perished; and these feelings take over our sensitive being permanently.

There are many cases in which the grandchild comes along unplanned and catches everybody off-guard. But he/she is born, surprising and changing all around him/her. He/she arrives to move players around in the playing field, sculpting egos and destabilizing the lack of hope. And the feminine identity of the women/grandmothers will never be the same! Given that they have a psychological system that seeks balance, the grandmothers see themselves, all of a sudden, realizing what the augmentation of this world means, - the same world that they were once a part of as mothers, and is now inhabited by their own offspring. An offspring that now gives society the chance to let life take place and carry on. At this point, the anticipation of what this grandchild might become turns into the absolute inspection of what he/she might potentially become; devoid of that heavy strain that our own desires applied while promoting and fighting through our paths to lead our children to achieve what we judged proper and essential. Expectations are different because with grandkids the relationship will always be of contemplation and commemoration of each new element reported by their parents, who are our loving children, now caretakers of their own. This is what is innovative in our identity. We are now in place to applaud our family prospects.

There are other approaches to reality. One is that many grandmothers are taking over the task of taking care of the grandchildren given the current recessive socio-economic context. The real winners are the grandchildren that obtain guaranteed survival along with the heat of grandma’s lap. The burden of taking care of your child’s grandchild consists of giving, and hardly a woman/grandmother will refuse it. But what is the identity of the woman/grandmother if not an evolution of the same system she once created? In a new realm for previously experienced experiences? A new grandchild, under these circumstances becomes a new son/daughter!

I warn women/grandmothers to be prepared for the vast quantity of feelings and also the transformation that a grandchild will bring to your identity! You’ll be able to look back and tell the tales, cherish the pictures, memories, battles won and lost, successes and failures, - it’s the opportunity to analyze your new identity during your own existence.

If it’s true that God created mothers to aid Him/Her in taking care of human beings, He/She also gives women/grandmothers the chance to have their feminine identity changed for a new stage of their development, - the spectator stage, watching the rise of a new generation starting from her own, and from there on to value life celebrating the evolution of the species in its psychological, spiritual and cognitive path.

Amusingly, I can affirm that my identity celebrates the fact that I became a mother that taught her babies how to read and write. I celebrate today that fact that I utilized Glenn Doman’s precepts to teach my babies to read over thirty years ago. Nowadays, observing my first grandchild I see her potential for reading, first the world, then the words. I see my hopes renewed for a better world, with more capable human beings, interested in change for peace. The future of mankind knocks at these newborns’ door, demanding new propositions, new solutions for the problems at hand. It is today a very diverse world than the one I raised my babies in, 30 odd years ago. Today, reading is essential and the symbols, computer languages, the velocity at which information and its processing by the babies’ brains are still yet to be described or quantified. Now reading as a baby isn’t news anymore. And now this hopeful grandma, aware of the facts proving the future has arrived, will remain touched to continue waving the flag of precocious education, of attending the pace and the interest of babies to meet and know of the world, still aware that music and child-play for precocious reading are the adequate engines to accelerate the evolution of the little human surprises (babies), that came from us and are indeed our improved copies.

2011 (c) Becoming a Grandma